Most importantly I just have to feel comfortable around him to be myself.

Education — I have to be able to discuss and debate complex issues with him. It’s necessary for me to have someone who can challenge me intellectually and who has a similar understanding of social issues and just the way this country and world works. Also a desire to learn, explore, and try new things every day is really important, cus I’m super adventurous & curious.

Creativity is a must — Dude can be a neurosurgeon or a math professor, doesn’t matter, as long as he’s got a creative side we’re good. I’ve learned over the years that non-artistic people have a hard time understanding how creative spirits function and that sometimes causes conflict in relationships.

Communication — Guys who hide their feelings or don’t know how to resolve conflict with their words don’t get time of day - ever.

Multicultural perspective — I have no preference on the ethnicity, race, nationality, or socioeconomic status of who I date, they just have to be sensitive and empathetic to all backgrounds. If you’re too near sighted and don’t have a real understanding for how diverse the world is and your positionality within that diversity, we can’t date. 

Drive & Support — I’m a very self-motivated person and I have a lot on my plate. I expect my dude to be the same. At the same time I’m also extremely supportive, and need support from whomever I’m dating. It comes down to balancing your independence and interdependence on each other. That’s a skill that’s hard to learn, but if you’re willing to learn it it will always help out in the long run.

Honesty and loyalty — Next to my ability to be myself around him, this is the BIGGEST thing. I’m a really understanding person and see the good in everyone. There aren’t too many faults I could find in a person that I wouldn’t be willing to help them out with if it meant sticking around through some tough days. But, at the same time, I need someone who is honest about their faults and their short comings so I know what to expect. I’ll definitely do the same. I understand that people fuck up (I am nowhere near perfect myself), but if you’re honest about things with me, there will always be room for forgiveness. Not to mention the type of intimacy that honesty builds in relationships… that kind of intimacy and respect is what keeps people together and loving each other for decades.

There are more things I look for… sexual attraction is a biggie, their relationship with their family, how they get along with my friends, etc, etc, but these are the big things.

You probably didn’t even want that long of an explanation… hahah oh well.