Avriel (Ah-Vre-Elle) ~ The Opening Buds Of Spring
Avriel, the name defines me in more ways than one. "Know your terms, and live by their definitions"- me
Those Feelings....
- do you ever get those feelings the kind you just can't seem to get off your mind.... but it's not like you even know what they mean.... it's kind of like they let you know that your still human but at the same time your not.... the kind that keep you awake at night tossing and turning making lists in your head, about what you haven't done about what you want to do, and how you plan to do it.... the kind of feeling that you don't want to go away, but neither do you want it to stay... the type of thing that make you wonder if something good is about to happen, or if something bad just did..... they kind of things that make you do a quick check to make sure every thing is still intact... do you ever have that feeling that you just want to cry but you don't know what's hurting... or you can't seem to stop laughing just because.... those feelings that make you glad you know who your real friends are... or make you want to find out.... the type of feelings that make you wonder if you'll be waiting for ever... or if tomorrow is that day you've been waiting for.... the feeling that i get every time i see you see me.... the feeling that i get because i don't know who "you" is... the type of feeling that makes you want to keep living... or the type that make you wonder why go on.... the type of feeling that lets you know that i'm here.... the type of feeling that makes me wonder are you there.... those feelings that let you know someones is waiting for you to change their life... the feelings that your in control of you although at times you feel completely helpless...do you ever get those feelings?
Thinking out loud
Some times it’s almost like your mind is convulsing, almost swinging like a pendulum, but much less rythmic, to and fro between a reasonable and rational decision making and cloudy, caotic thought process. It’s like when you face a problem and know exactly how you should react, and formulte a process to accomplish the said task. But at the same time you realize what you want to do and what you should do and what you will do really cancel out one another… and then you come to the point where you know what you can and should but are not sure of the will and the how… and that just makes you really come to appreciate that there is undoubtable a satan a devil, an evil force if you will. Because there is no way that God, mine and yours, ever intended for life to be this difficult.Part II
The transition from crisp to hazy
Took my breath away
Endless rows of white rocking chairs
Small to bigGrandpa to grandbaby
My family rocking side by side
Nibbling they’re peaches and cream
in silenceTwo empty chairs
Centuries away from each other
One aloneOne cast down
upon by near gazing eyes
I chose the one with least repercussions
To my reputation
But three years later
And my heart has yet to recover
My days in Rehab are now numbered
Finally forgetting those lethal sweet nothings that you once muttered
I bleed the wound
My minds almost sound
Ready to get back to me
Focus on show myself who I want to be
To find new expressions of joy
New experience of love
New ways to learn to breathe
And new reasons to drop to my knees
The detox was painful
But the results are nothing less than beautiful
Part I
The hot humid air
The hissing of the air conditioner
Made everyone’s voice seem like a whisper
The drive was an eternity
With each turn the boundary
Of personal space disappeared
Our skin beaded with sweat
Dripping with passion
Stuck together
His skin warm to the touch
Movements stops
Doors open…
Inspir/exper-ation
So once again you the muse
for a few words still remnate
of an indecisive abuse
I wish I knew just how to take the words you send
And decode the moves you make
Without having to bend-
Over is what I though I was with these games
I’m playing darts, but with no aim
Mixed Signal- 4.18.08
One way street pointing in all the wrong directions
No U-turns allowed
Decisions to be made but there is no parking space
How long can I strattel the line before I hit a speed bump
You keep switching lanes and you keep flashing your lights
Visibilities low on this relationship highway
Just keep looking for the next exit
But I don’t know the name or number
Maybe its time to stop for directions
But the next rest stop is miles away…
So Addicted
So Addicted
I need another hit
One last relapse
In to your arms I want to collapse
Just one more high
Then I’ll deal with the lows
The next is always the last
But after the last
I can’t wait for the next
The fornication in my heart
In ink spot bleach won’t get out
I continue to pray
Pray for the day your name won’t ring a bell
…TBC
And he said..."I Lovher"
One last dash
One last look
One last flash (Of your Face)
One last sound of your voice, your call, your laugh
Such a dumb young boy
A foolish young girls toy
Every time I hit you, you bit back
Every Time you’d kiss I’d pull back
Just one last nightmare of being irreplaceable
Just one more day dream where you came, stayed, and made my heart full
I wait for the day when better comes along
But I won’t hold my breath incase it’s too long
You’ll settle for under par
Someone not even close to beautiful
But I’ll always know I was the best you could do
But you would do the best, for Jah you could stay true
I need the time to come where I look back on my mistakes and laugh at foolish girl games
The kind I no longer desire to play
The kind I see, but don’t participate in, because my new lover has become my best friend
April 7, 2008
A sigh of relief
Replace the grief
A lost love cemented in my heart
Easy breaths and timeless days
April showers and Sun filled Mays
Replace the Temptious June and Julys
The longest days that left my soul dry
from all the tears I never cried
SoSuavie Jewelry
I own my own Jewelry company, check it out, lemme know what you think.Poetry-the art of rhythmical composition, written or spoken, for exciting pleasure by beautiful, imaginative, or elevated thoughts.
Yo Niggaby Avie w.
you don’t see that vulnerable side
you haven’t proved worthy
because while i’m spillin my guts out to you
i can just see you off laugh’n with another girly
i saw those pictures
they looked faked
3 of them one of you
right when i was ready to come back to you
i can just hear them now “like Oh My God. Like i can’t believe that i’m here”
and your say’n “yep okay sweetie” but thinkin “just pass me another beer”
i know you did it purposely to say “look what i can do”
but i’m screamin back YO NIGGA “LOOK I CAN DO IT TOO”
and then it dawns in my rage
suddenly the shift of power has changed
it’s no longer you can, and i won’t
it’s now “oh see that chick, now let me show you how a true playa floats
from girl to girl to girl to girl, and by the time i’m gone they’re left in a dizzy whirl”
while at the same time i’m thinking bout how you use to be
not worried bout your boys
more worried about me
not worried about how your swag was gonna get some girl lost in ya eyes
more worried about how not to choke cus i had you hypnotized
dizzy turned and spun about
or maybe that’s what you let me think
while you kept turning to your boys
with that dirt of your shoulder shrug and that double wink
i never did trust you
i still really don’t
but somehow i can’t seem to live my life without you
it’s not that i cant, its not that i won’t
its that some nights i lay there thinking wishing
you weren’t such a fiend
wish’n that you hadn’t been so selfish
and thinkin how right now we could have been had the real thang
Cus homeboy without you life might not be the same
but i told you i can do bad all by myself
i have no problem with pain
i know these soft curly locks make you think i’m soft
unlike that cookie as it crumbles
be assured i can make your soul rock, and if your lucky rumble
rumble like that small child’s tummy
i know you’ll wnat some more
i know how you like that sweet
that milk chocolate, that honey, that caramel
that 9 inches those 5 feet
but i won’t wait for that day
when you finally come to your senses
but i’ll send you some glad tidings
when what your really need is some hallelujahs and some God blesses