Avriel (Ah-Vre-Elle) ~ The Opening Buds Of Spring

So let’s just say that I finally put it all on the lineJust to findThat the one who I truly lustThat rarely thought of me and was a never must An awkward stare A shuffle from here to thereJust trying to get around What I whish I’d never took out of the lost and found But wait a glimmer of hope Nope Not for this single sailor With no where to anchor her boatNot a dock or a pier Or just some where to peer  To have a fling for the summerEven to come meet my mother  Not Me nor I Could beet that ugly monster of rejection into it’s cageMake the emotion of it all just dieIf only I could go back in timeLike Doc or Marty McFlyAnd erase the despise I feel in the blink of an eye…It’s funny to look back on the poems wrote about feelings had so long ago (which most of these poems are) and to realize what a waste of time these JokA’s were LOL

Thinking out loud

Some times it’s almost like your mind is convulsing, almost swinging like a pendulum, but much less rythmic, to and fro between a reasonable and rational decision making and cloudy, caotic thought process.  It’s like when you face a problem and know exactly how you should react, and formulte a process to accomplish the said task.  But at the same time you realize what you want to do and what you should do and what you will do really cancel out one another… and then you come to the point where you know what you can and should but are not sure of the will and the how… and that just makes you really come to appreciate that there is undoubtable a satan a devil, an evil force if you will.  Because there is no way that God, mine and yours, ever intended for life to be this difficult.

Part II

 The transition from crisp to hazy

Took my breath away

Endless rows of white rocking chairs

Small to bigGrandpa to grandbaby

My family rocking side by side

Nibbling they’re peaches and cream

in silenceTwo empty chairs

Centuries away from each other

One aloneOne cast down

upon by near gazing eyes

I chose the one with least repercussions

To my reputation

But three years later

And my heart has yet to recover 

Inspir/exper-ation

So once again you the muse

 for a few words still remnate

of an indecisive abuse

 

I wish I knew just how to take the words you send

And decode the moves you make

Without having to bend-

 

Over is what I though I was with these games

I’m playing darts, but with no aim

Mixed Signal- 4.18.08

One way street pointing in all the wrong directions

No U-turns allowed

Decisions to be made but there is no parking space

How long can I strattel the line before I hit a speed bump

You keep switching lanes and you keep flashing your lights

Visibilities low on this relationship highway

Just keep looking for the next exit

But I don’t know the name or number

Maybe its time to stop for directions

But the next rest stop is miles away…

So Addicted

So Addicted

I need another hit

One last relapse

In to your arms I want to collapse

 

Just one more high

Then I’ll deal with the lows

 

The next is always the last

But after the last

I can’t wait for the next

 

The fornication in my heart

In ink spot bleach won’t get out

 

I continue to pray

Pray for the day your name won’t ring a bell

…TBC

And he said..."I Lovher"

One last dash

One last look

One last flash (Of your Face)

 

One last sound of your voice, your call, your laugh

 

Such a dumb young boy

A foolish young girls toy

Every time I hit you, you bit back

Every Time you’d kiss I’d pull back

 

Just one last nightmare of being irreplaceable

Just one more day dream where you came, stayed, and made my heart full

 

I wait for the day when better comes along

But I won’t hold my breath incase it’s too long

 

You’ll settle for under par

Someone not even close to beautiful

 

But I’ll always know I was the best you could do

But you would do the best, for Jah you could stay true

 

I need the time to come where I look back on my mistakes and laugh at foolish girl games

The kind I no longer desire to play

The kind I see, but don’t participate in, because my new lover has become my best friend

April 7, 2008

A sigh of relief

Replace the grief

A lost love cemented in my heart

 

Easy breaths and timeless days

April showers and Sun filled Mays

Replace the Temptious June and Julys

 

The longest days that left my soul dry

from all the tears I never cried

Poetry-the art of rhythmical composition, written or spoken, for exciting pleasure by beautiful, imaginative, or elevated thoughts.

Yo Nigga
by Avie w.

you don’t see that vulnerable side
you haven’t proved worthy

because while i’m spillin my guts out to you
i can just see you off laugh’n with another girly

i saw those pictures
they looked faked

3 of them one of you
right when i was ready to come back to you

i can just hear them now “like Oh My God. Like i can’t believe that i’m here”
and your say’n “yep okay sweetie” but thinkin “just pass me another beer”

i know you did it purposely to say “look what i can do”
but i’m screamin back YO NIGGA “LOOK I CAN DO IT TOO”

and then it dawns in my rage
suddenly the shift of power has changed

it’s no longer you can, and i won’t
it’s now “oh see that chick, now let me show you how a true playa floats
from girl to girl to girl to girl, and by the time i’m gone they’re left in a dizzy whirl”

while at the same time i’m thinking bout how you use to be
not worried bout your boys
more worried about me

not worried about how your swag was gonna get some girl lost in ya eyes
more worried about how not to choke cus i had you hypnotized

dizzy turned and spun about
or maybe that’s what you let me think

while you kept turning to your boys
with that dirt of your shoulder shrug and that double wink

i never did trust you
i still really don’t

but somehow i can’t seem to live my life without you
it’s not that i cant, its not that i won’t

its that some nights i lay there thinking wishing
you weren’t such a fiend

wish’n that you hadn’t been so selfish
and thinkin how right now we could have been had the real thang

Cus homeboy without you life might not be the same
but i told you i can do bad all by myself
i have no problem with pain

i know these soft curly locks make you think i’m soft
unlike that cookie as it crumbles

be assured i can make your soul rock, and if your lucky rumble
rumble like that small child’s tummy

i know you’ll wnat some more
i know how you like that sweet
that milk chocolate, that honey, that caramel
that 9 inches those 5 feet

but i won’t wait for that day
when you finally come to your senses

but i’ll send you some glad tidings
when what your really need is some hallelujahs and some God blesses